$10 dollar Saigon "Hotel"

     I wish I can say that I fell in love with Saigon on my brief stay there.  I thought I did, until I stepped out of Tan Son Nhat Airport.  Taxi drivers swarmed at me the moment I got out.  "Taxi lady? $35 dollar???"  WTF?!?  I am not stupid to pay $35 dollars just to get my ass off the airport.  And then somebody was grabbing my arm luring me into his cab.  "Oki oki, $15 dollar for taxi for the beautiful ledi."  Sus kuya!  Nangbola ka pa, malas mo at purdoy ako, kundi papatulan ko $15 dollars mo!  I've never felt so in demand before.  It feels like I'm a piece of meat thrown into a pit of hungry crocodiles.  I felt like a Hollywood superstar, everybody wanted me.  And then I glanced at the other people who were experiencing the same ordeal.  Okay, at least I am not the only victim here.  

     After so much haggling and playing the game of no-I-don't-want-your-price-please-lay-off-my-arm-walk-away-like-I-dont-care-look, I finally settled to pay $8 to get me into town.  Do you know the Nguyen Khang Hotel?, I asked while gritting my teeth knowing that I had still been ripped off.  Yes, I tek you to a nice hotew...  A very nice hotew!!!  NO!  I have reservations at Nguyen Khang.  I don't want a nice hotel!  But Nguyen Khang not a nice hotew...  I take you to a nice hotew...  We did that for a while and I had to explain to him that I will only be in Saigon for a few hours before I take the first bus out to Cambodia.  I didn't need a nice hotel, I just need a cheap one.  

     Saigon was well alive at that hour.  The streets were lined up of different establishments were nocturnal party animals dwell.  I drank in the sights and smell of the city but all I could smell was my hair.  It reeked of tuyo mixed with the pine car freshner dangling in front of me.  Twenty minutes later, he stopped at Pham Ngu Lao District.  I saw the colorful night lights of Saigon and I hurriedly scanned the signs to see where my hotel was.  Ledi, you go that way to your hotew...  He was pointing to a dark alley where I had to pass by some locals enjoying some beer.  Tambay sa kanto, Vietnamese style.  Jesus Christ, what did I get myself into?  I guess the taxi driver saw the horror register on my face once I found out that my hotel was in some seedy looking alley.  I told you ledi, Nguyen Khang isn't a nice hotew....  Impaktong to, pinamuka pa talaga sa kin!

Pham Ngu Lao at Night

     I braved the alley, just to spite the driver and pretended that I knew what I was getting myself into.  I walked extra fast everytime I saw some loitering people while cursing myself for bringing a luggage instead of a pack.  Finally, I saw my hotel.  Closed.  No, don't do this to me!  I rapped through the steel bars until somebody opened up.  You are Kethera?  I had been wetting for you.  Ano daw?  At kelan ba naging Kethera pangalan ko?  At bakit mo ko sinaraduhan kung hinihintay nyo pala ako???  

Hotel hotelan

     We did the usual chit chat, his words barely making sense considering that his English was not that perfect and since it was 2am, I was too tired to try and analyze what he was mumbling.  Tonight, you will stay at another guesthouse because we overbooked...  Then tomorrow, you come back for your bus ticket and your breakfast.  Ano daw?!?  Ilalagay mo ko sa ibang hotel na hindi ko naman binook?!?!?!?  

     I was too tired to even picture myself strangling him to death.  I followed him like a lamb about to be sacrificed.  He took me to another guesthouse, where we climbed stairs all the way to the fourth floor.  And I ended up in a crappy little room with no window.  I will not pay $17 dollars for this.  This is not what we agreed upon.  But Ms. Kethera, we are full.  It's not safe for you to go outside at this time.  I will not pay $17 dollars.  Oke oke, $10 for this room.  Dapat lang no!  

     So there I was, in some backdoor alley "hotel" with no window.  I psyched myself up banking on the fact that my ass will be out of there in a few hours.  It was clean and the sheets smell nice.  I was so disappointed that I didn't even bother to take pictures of it.

    I tried to convince myself that I will like Saigon when I get the chance to explore it after my Cambodia trip.  

     As tired as I was, smelling like tuyo at that, I quickly took a shower and just shook my head in dismay.  This is not how I imagined things to be...