13 Gruesome Hours of Ass Torture

Saigon and a jungle of motorcycles

     After a few hours of sleep, I woke up at 6 am debating on whether or not I should take a shower.  Because I was pressed for time, I opted not to (yuck, I know) and hurried back to Nguyen Hotel to get some breakfast and my bus ticket.  

     I met two Indian guys at the lone breakfast table.  They smiled and immediately chatted me up.  "Hulloh, are you from India too?"  I smiled and shook my head, "No I'm Filipina."  They introduced themselves as Ravi and Kumar  and told me that they were also heading for Siem Reap.  Fortunately, they were taking another bus.  I didn't want to be stuck with them, they seemed full of energy.  Di ko sila type hehe.

     I jammed my mouth with French baguette smeared with butter and jam and remembered those years when my dad used to bring us to the Vietnamese village in Palawan.  If we have our pan de sal, the Vietnamese have their French baguettes (sosyal!).  The receptionist came and told me, "Ms. Kethera hurry eat please."  Teka teka, hirap kaya lunukin ng tinapay nyo!  I must have tried to swallow a big piece because I found myself grabbing for the cup of coffee...  Mainit pala masyado, napaso tuloy dila ko.  The coffee was divine and I would have loved a second cup if I was not running out of time and had my tongue not been scalded.

     The receptionist guided me out of the alley and onto the main street with a big red bus waiting.  I took the Mekong Express Limousine Bus and handed him $23 for my one way ticket to Siem Reap.  "See  you Ms. Kethera, have a wonderful trip.  Please come to our hotew again when you return from Cambodia."  I faked a smile, di na oi!  Pagkatapos mo kong itapon sa ibang hotel, come back come back ka pa dyan!

Kertu and his friends getting off at the Orussey Market, PP.

     I boarded the bus and the girl handed me a stub with my seat number on it. 9C.  I quickly waded my way through the back and prayed to God that I don't end up next to the urinal.  Utang na loob Lord, wag naman malapit sa banyo.  

     I gave a silent prayer of 10 Our Fathers and 4 Hail Mary's when I found my seat (ok, not really).  There was a huge (no pun intended) blonde guy sprawled across my seat.  He immediately straightened up, smiled and asked me if I was willing to swap so he can have the aisle seat instead.  I didn't mind of course.  I love window seats.  When he stood up so I can scoot and I realized that he must have measured a good 6ft...  For the life of me, I honestly didn't think that the that I will not be flattened against the window, just to make it fit.  Diyos ko, pano naman kami kakasya dito.  

The bus ticket comes with a wet tissue and snack of pastries

     He immediately plopped down and extended his hand, "My name is Kertu, and you are?"  I blinked and was momentarily speechless.  Ang panget naman ng pangalan mo haha.  Hello Kertu?  I'm Katrina.  "Oh Katrine!  My cousin's name in Finland is also Katrine."  Eh ano naman ngayon?  I immediately corrected him but then he went on and insisted that the correct name should be Katrine.  Bahala ka dyan, marunong ka pa sa nanay ko!

     I diverted my attention outside the window.  The streets of Saigon were infested with motorcycles.  They're everywhere just like what I've read.  The sidewalks were dotted  up by people drinking coffee and eating pho by the roadside.  I will definitely try that when I get back.  I was busy drinking in the unfamiliar signs of different establishments but Kertu decided that he will not make this an easy ride for me.  He tapped my knee (chancing ka pa dyan! hehe):  "Katrine, have a beer with me."  I looked at him because I wasn't sure if I heard him right.  There he was thrusting a can of Tiger beer on my face.  Ay Dyos ko po!  Sana Coke na lang yang binibigay mo sa kin.  

Mekong Express Bus at Moc Bai border

      I didn't know if God was playing a joke on me.  First, I smelled like tuyo on my flight to Ho Chi Minh.  Kertu stood up to grab something from the overhead bin.  Another can of beer.  Something tells me that I will end up smelling like chico as well.  

     The ride to Moc Bai-Bavet (Vietnamese-Cambodian) border took only a few hours.  By then, Kertu already had 3 cans of beer and told me that he's 19 (sayang hahaha), that my name is Katrine and not Katrina, that Nokia is from Finland (duh!), that I don't look  Pinay, and that I look young as compared to the fellow 19 year old girls that he was travelling with.  Had he not been drunk and incessantly chatty, I would have been flattered.  

     We were asked to get off the bus to have our luggages scanned and our passports stamped.  This is the first time I'm crossing an international border by myself.  Kertu immediately lined up behind me and I silently wished that they would find marijuana inside his pockets and lock him up forever hehe.  That is unfair Katrine, why were you not charged $20 for a visa?   I don't need a visa Kertu.  I'm Filipina.  But you don't look like a Filipina, you should pay dollars. Really???  Are you f*cking kidding me!?!

     I don't know if Kertu was genuinely dumb, or if he was just drunk, or was just trying to annoy the hell out of me.  I figured it was all of the above so I took my seat again, praying to God that he will be drunk enough to sleep the rest of the way.  

    After six hours and a few stops, we finally arrived in Phnom Penh.  God must have decided to give me a break because Kertu tapped my arm and told me that he and his friends will get off the bus now.  "Goodbye Katrine."  Goodbye Kertu, it was nice meeting you (not really).

Crossing the border, Bavet side

     The next seven hours passed by like a blur.  I drifted in and out of sleep.  Shifted my tired butt and stretched my legs.  There were 14 of us who continued the journey to Siem Reap.  There was an Irish couple, Mike and Anette.  An Australian guy named Terry.  Malene, Henrik, Niklas and Torben from Denmark and Sweden.  Marla, Kristina and Jessica from England.  The rest, I have no idea.  Being the only Asian in the group, they bombarded me with questions about the Philippines and asked me the inevitable question:  Why are you on your own?

     I pointed to Terry who was travelling on his own too.  Yes, but you're a girl and you're Asian.  I just smiled and told them that I wanted to try something new.  I guess they heard the wariness in my voice so they stopped hounding questions after that.  

     By then, my butt felt numb.  Everything outside was dark and I can feel my tummy rumbling.  You better be worth it Siem Reap...